Why Most People Never Hit Their Goals: Are You Expanding or Contracting?Aug 16, 2021
For today's episode, we're going to go ahead and just dive right in. Are you expanding or contracting? Why some people never seem to hit their goals. So I hope you got your mind ready and you are totally present and let's get started.
Want to work with me as your Mindset & Fitness coach to help you achieve more than you thought you were capable of? Head here to apply for my 1-1 coaching program.
Check out my line of All Natural Premium Supplements to help you create the body you want.
Hello. I am Ashley Drummonds and you are about to listen to the Phoenix Rising podcast, a place to help you really just get inspired, empowered, and motivated to create the life and body and anything else you want. So real quick, before we get started, as always, you can head on over to AshleyDrummonds.Com, which is where you can get more information and tools and tips and all the good juicy stuff that I only share in my emails.
Every single week, you'll see several different spots where you can put your name and email in, and I will send you some stuff right now, including some awesome workouts, a mindset coaching video, and some other great things. Like I said, to help you create a body and life you love. It's going to be in the description in this podcast episode.
Again, that is AshleyDrummonds.Com head on over there. But for today's episode, we're going to go ahead and just dive right in because I love just intentional action. And that is what today is all about, about, are you expanding or contracting why some people never seem to hit their goals. So I hope you got your mind ready and you are totally present and let's get started.
Really quick before we get started here's a little message for you. And then we'll get into today's episode.
Hi everybody. My name is Colleen Cleary, and I wanted to just take a couple of minutes to talk to you about my amazing business coach Ashley Drummonds. Ashley kindly asked me to chat with you guys a little bit more about my experience working with her as a coach. So quick background, I've been in business for about two and a half years when I really started thinking about growing my business and how I wanted that to look.
Being real honest that I was going to need some actual help to do that, to take my business to the next level. I'm a holistic health coach, a running coach and a skincare consultant. And so being a coach myself, I know the value of having someone on your team who has a bunch of tools that you can use, has knowledge, has experience that can really help you reach.
Set your goals be real clear about them and then also reach them. So I started doing a little research and trying to see who it was that I would really connect with that I thought had everything that I needed. And Ashley was the one by far. It was an easy, no brainer kind of a thing. So we hooked on a quick 30 minute call and just kind of chatted back and forth about her approach and what I was looking for and would be a, be a good fit. And of course we were, and I've never looked back. I was so happy to get started with her and here's what I'm going to tell you.
Ashley is very professional. She's super positive and encouraging. She gives me a ton of information tools that I need, and she really tailors everything to me as a person and a business owner, I cannot say enough amazing things about her. It has been a great experience. I have learned so much and she just gives me homework every week when I'm ready. Lots of great things to work on.
Lots of concrete things, which is one of the things I personally really needed for myself. I needed to know you need to go A, B, C, and D calling. This is the steps you need to take. This is the order to take. And, you know, and everything that I would need in between, she's always available. She provides great support.
So there you go. In a nutshell, you cannot go wrong working with this girl. She knows her stuff. She's there for you and she is worth your time and money. So I hope you find this super helpful. I hope if you're looking for a coach that you will consider Ashley, because I really think she'd be a good fit for you.
I hope you guys have a great day. Bye!
All right. I hope that got you inspired and connected and excited about what we're going to talk about today and now let's get started.
Hello, you are joining me outside in safety Harbor today. So if you hear any background noise, consider yourself just sitting out on this park bench, enjoying the wonderful weather here in safety Harbor, Florida, and yeah, just, you know, sitting on a bench in a park and having a conversation and getting deep.
It is a super interesting day today. It actually, the weather is kind of reminded me of when I lived in Santa Barbara. They have, I think they call it June gloom, but basically it's kind of a weird weather day where even though it's sunny, there's like this weird overcast, but it's also kind of nice because it knocks off a lot of the heat.
And you can hang out outside without getting sunburnt and feeling super sweaty. So today seemed like a really good day to take this podcast episode outside and come talk to you about why it seems like some people hit their goals and other people don't. And really this comes down to the question that I like to ask is, are you expanding or are you contracting in your life?
And I'm going to go through some specifics of how you can tell this, but really, I mean, the thing that brought this up is because. I was just reflecting and I, I mean, I reflect all the time, but I was reflecting over the last few years of my life and really just checking in with myself, holding myself accountable about areas of where have I grown and where have I kind of just plateaued.
It hasn't just been my own reflection, but I've reflected with some friends and family members and just some areas that they're working on as well. And the interesting thing about growth and plateauing is sometimes we mistake seasons of growth that are internal growth periods as plateaus. And what I mean by that is like, we're such external beings that we only count the things we can see.
So money in the bank and number on the scale, things that are external. And sometimes we go through seasons of emotional growth that you can't necessarily see on the outside. The reason I wanted to do this is simply to help clarify moments where you're expanding or contracting, but also making it clear if you're in a situation where you're stuck or you feel like you're not growing at all, usually there are some specific things you can do and you probably have done previously when you've noticed times where you just were crushing goals.
So I always ask people like, do you ever wonder why some people just keep growing and growing and growing and others seem to always just stay where they're are, stay where they are. A lot of it is a personality thing. Like some people are just like growth minded. It very much is a mindset. They love being around people that help them grow, reading and listening to things that help them grow.
And then they take action in the direction of growth where other people it's not necessarily their default mode and that's totally fine. So I do want to just preface this entire conversation with everything that I'm saying is not a right or wrong. There never is a right or wrong, your experience and your choices are right for you.
This is just, if you were here looking to grow, then here are some specific things that you can do to help yourself do that. So one of the things is there's actually some science behind people who are able to consistently grow and hit goals. And those who are not there was this whole study, that did this.
I'm just trying to figure out like, what's the difference between these like super power performers and people who just seem to always coast. And it's actually something that I bring up a lot. The first few times I meet with clients on coaching calls because I always start calls off and I start people through their eight week program and I ask them.
What are your hopes in this? What are your goals throughout this program? And generally speaking, it always starts out very vague of, well, I want to be happy. I want to feel better. I want to look better. I want to have more confidence. I want to have more endurance and why this is a very great place to start.
But the problem with this is, is how will, you know, when you've hit that goal. So if you want to feel better, how do you know when you hit the goal that you do feel better? What does that look like to you? Or you want to be stronger? Okay. What is the goal that we need to hit? That's going to represent that you hit that and you feel stronger, and this can go into anything.
People talk about this with their income. Like, I want to make more money. I want financial freedom. I want better relationships. Okay. Well, how do we know when we hit that? Can you give me a specific, what does that look like to you? And a lot of times when I ask this question, people get stuck. Like, well, what happens if I don't know?
Well, if you don't know, then that's probably the reason why you're not able to achieve it. It's not a bad thing. It just means, okay. You got to do a little bit of homework on yourself of what is happiness to you. What does success look like to you? What does a happy relationship look like to you? A job.
What's the best way you can look in your mind. Is it a specific number? Is it being able to do a certain amount of workouts? The more specific you can be, the more likely you are to hit your goals. And I realized that that's a very simple thing to talk about, but you would be surprised and myself included, we all do this.
We do it unconsciously, not even realizing it until we realize that we're stuck and frustrated that we're not moving forward. And you ask yourself, well, have I set a specific, clear, measurable goal? No, not really. We just talked about how I wanted to feel better. Okay. Well, what would that look like? So that's the first thing you kind of got to get clear on is, are you even clear on what you want?
So I actually had this happen recently. I was just meeting up with somebody for coffee, just for the sake of meeting up. And one of the conversations as always, when you meet somebody is, oh, what do you do? Do you like that? Do you enjoy it? We got into this conversation and the topic came up with this person was saying like, oh, I've always wanted to own my own business for years.
I'm like, that's awesome. I said, I think a lot of people love the idea of owning their own business, but they don't necessarily understand everything that goes into it. It can be quite a challenge and you have to be very disciplined and motivated. And if you are that then being an entrepreneur can be one of the greatest things.
You can create all kinds of things in life and have control over your income and your schedule and all that. But so as we're talking about it, I'm like, well, so what kind of business would you own if you want to be a business owner? And this person was like, oh, I actually see, I don't know. Oh, okay. Well that's all right.
Do you know at least what industry, or like what you want to do, like, would you want an online business? Would you want a brick and mortar? Do you want to sell products? Do you want to coach people? Do you want to have a service based business? And I could tell the more questions I ask, the more frustrated this person was getting.
And I just kind of stopped because I was like, okay. I don't think that you actually want to own a business. I think you like the idea of wanting to own a business and the aspiration behind it. And this is what happens to people, even when it comes to losing weight, when it comes to creating anything in their life, they, they talk about it almost from a sense of frustration of like, man, I've always wanted to do that.
Like that just sounds awesome. And then when you ask the question of like, oh yeah, what would you do? Like, what does that look like for you? Um, I don't, I don't really know. Okay. So then this is just like a fantasy land in your brain of some, it's a form of mental escape, basically. So if you find yourself stuck, are you doing that to yourself?
Are you talking about what you want in the form of venting about not having it, but also with no real clear intention or action or thoughts behind it. Because if so, that could be the main thing that is stopping you from hitting your goals and keeping you from growing and exactly why you were staying right where you are.
And the main thing is the difference between a goal in wishful thinking is a goal is backed by specific actionable steps you can take to hit that. In order to get specific, actionable steps, you have to get clear on the direction that you're headed. Wishful thinking is nothing more than just an idea and thought that feels nice if it were to come true by happenstance.
Does that make sense? Hopefully it makes sense. So to prove this point, they actually did this study with people and I'm all about like backing things up with science. Like I'm the, I'm such a... My friend called me a hippy dippy person. And it's true. And then people call me a fit Buddha. It's kind of true. I mean, I'm all about the spiritual, quantum, energetic, multiple realities of the universe.
But then I also love when there's actual science that backs that up. So with this, there was actually a study that was done. They took a group of people because they were trying to understand the power behind action. But also like if people were just to think about their goals, how likely are they to actually hit them?
So. Here's his group. They took them from all over the world to make sure it wasn't a culture thing, or just like an upbringing and environment thing. And over the course of four weeks, they divided this group up and they had group a, just think about their goals. So throughout the course of four weeks, all they had to do was consistently think about their goals.
Group B had to think about their goals and write them down. And then group C had to think about their goals, had to write them down and had some sort of accountability or support on those goals every single week. And so they let them just do their thing over the course of the four weeks. And at the end of four weeks, they wanted to see out of all these different groups who actually hit their goals with the methods that they use and what they discovered was that group A and B the ones who thought about it and wrote about it.
Those groups out of everybody. And I wish I could remember the number of how many there were only 40% of the people actually hit their goals, the group C, where people thought about it consistently, they wrote about it and they had some sort of accountability, 80% of the people in that group hit their goals.
And here's the thing. There's a lot of things that are happening here other than just people taking more action and not taking action. The group A, when you're just thinking about things, this is like the very beginning steps of anything. Like you got to get your mind. Right. And forward-thinking to what you want.
However with anything in life, when you can take pen to paper and get it out of your head, that is like a very small baby step in creating it in your reality. So when it's a thought, it actually doesn't exist anywhere else. Other than in your mind, when you put pen to paper, now you actually have something in your physical reality that is making it more real and possible that you can actually hold and see on paper. So that's one thing that's happening is it's creating this idea that now this thought doesn't just exist in air. This thought is actually now on a piece of paper that you can see touch and feel as existing in your reality.
The other thing that's happening when you do this is you're also activating your subconscious brain. So like we've talked about before your subconscious and conscious. The responsibility of both of these parts of your brain is to help you create your reality. Your conscious brain is your waking brain that gets you throughout the day, tells you to shower and brush your teeth.
Your subconscious brain or the deep rooted beliefs and desires that you want, the two work together to help you create what you want. So when you're putting things pen to paper, you're helping activate giving a crystal clear destination for your subconscious mind to help you create that. And there's actually a term behind this.
So psychologists call this structural. If I said that, right? Structural. Structural brain tension. And basically what this is, is your brain wants to close the gap between your current reality and the vision of your goal. By writing things down, visualizing it, verbally expressing it. What this end goal is, you end up increasing the structural tension in your brain so that your brain will literally increase your creativity and produce hyper-awareness to help you not only create opportunities and resources to achieve your goals, but it will help shift your perspective in your waking life to help you recognize those goals.
So how awesome is that like, think about that. So your whole, we all take in images, we take in experiences throughout our entire day, every single day, and we run it through this filter in our brains based on our belief systems, based on our goals, based on our overall mindset and thinking process. So when you're trying to move in a specific direction and create a specific outcome, when you take a thought, a clear goal of what you want.
You put it down on paper and write it out. You are helping your brain on a scientific level, restructure and rewire itself. So that then in your waking life, as you go throughout your day, It will change the inputs that you are receiving. You don't even have to necessarily like you only have to take a different street.
You don't even have to like go to a different coffee shop. You don't have to go to a different anything, but the input your brain receives will now be transformed to help you see any opportunity or resource that is available to now produce your new goal. That's the other thing that's important about it too.
If you're just thinking about it, that's like a 10% approach to producing this. Where when you think about it, you write it about it and now your brain, and you can see it in the reality. Your reality will shift to help you create that outcome. So the other cool thing behind this is the more you do this, the more you see it, you write it out and you're consistently visualizing it on paper.
The more, you are basically flooding your subconscious brain with this image so that it has no choice. It's not, it feels like magic when you do it, because then months go by and you're like, holy crap. I'm living the goal that I set months prior. So it feels like this magical thing, but like, and it is because you're an aware person creating the life that you want.
But it's also a scientific thing. You are participating in creating the life that you want. And that's really what this is about. So like I said, the group C, they're the ones that thought about it. They wrote it out. But the third component that made them 80% more successful is that they had some sort of support and accountability.
So here's the thing behind this too, that a lot of people get incorrect is people think, oh, I need accountability otherwise I won't hit my goals because there's nobody that's going to yell at me or like basically, like, I don't know, beat me up for not doing it. I mean, yes. There's some fear in that, that if you have somebody counting on you and relying on you, you're more likely to hit your goals.
On top of that, it's actually been proven with coaches, personal training, things like that. The people who work with a coach are more likely to hit their goals than those who don't, because there is a personal monetary investment. In their goals. So now they have something invested other than just wishful thinking.
They got money on the line and I've seen this time and again, like people who tell me they want to lose weight normally are not as successful in doing that than the ones that actually work with me or work with another coach that is meeting them. And that is their own goal is backed by their own money. So that's just proven.
So you have that too, when there's an investment in something you are way more likely to succeed because you actually have some skin in the game, but more than this, the cool thing about this is when you have accountability and support with your goal. You actually have somebody else holding the energetic and vibrational space with you to help you achieve that.
So when you are visualizing and holding this idea for your life, it is super powerful if you do all of these things. If you think about it, you're writing about it, you're visualizing it. And then you're taking action towards it. It's even more powerful. If you have somebody else who also holds that vision towards your life and helps you move in that direction, it's like you get like, you're already a super powerful person.
You get somebody else that's also going to hold that for you. And now you are just like this super bright, energetic beam. That's going to attract this vision for your life. On top of that. When you have somebody else who holds you accountable and hears you talk about this vision and sees you taking action for it, they're also there to help you stay motivated and help you create the belief in yourself that you can do it.
And this is where a lot of people get stuck is sometimes your goals require so much growth and expansion from you. That our own mind and our own insecurities and fears and limitations get in the way that sometimes doubt creeps in. And we don't actually believe that what we want is possible and it creates a setback.
Then we stop taking action and we create self-sabotage because it's like, well, why would I even take action when I don't really even believe that I can do this or this is something that is truly possible? This is where accountability and support comes in is you have somebody else. It's like, look, you can do this.
I know you can do this. I believe in you. I one thousand percent have seen you do other things and you surpass what you thought you were capable of. So I know you can do this too. Having somebody consistently telling you that over and over while holding the vision for you, who you are invested in, whether it's money or whether it's time, whatever is going to over just skyrocket your possibilities of achieving that goal.
So with all of that, like there's a couple of things you have to ask yourself because, and if you like, if you're going through this and you're like, I don't have anybody in my life that can hold me accountable or support me some ideas, one, you can get a coach.
That's exactly what my eight week program is. This is exactly what we do like week six, seven, and eight is all about you getting crystal clear. We work backwards on helping you get clear action steps you can take to create that. And then I show up with you every single week to establish the belief in yourself, to keep you motivated, to hold you accountable and hold that space for you.
If you don't have that, you need to have people in your life that you can do this with whether it is a partner a spouse, a boyfriend, a girlfriend, somebody who you trust that is going to be like, look, yeah, you've got this. I know this is going to be hard. I know this is going to require you to grow, but I'm right here.
I've got you to go through this. Like, you need that or you need a friend or you need a mentor, but if you don't have that, it is very hard to hold that space for yourself. And expect to continue to grow because we all have different limitations. We all have areas where we really get stuck, whether it's a mental block, whether it's a physical block or whether it's just like knowledge and expertise that we need extra help with.
And there's nothing wrong with getting help from other people who can help take you to the next level. The thing about your goals is the whole point in having a goal is to grow. It's for you to really test your limits and to go to new heights and new visions for your life. So if your goal doesn't really make you a little bit nervous, it doesn't really excite you.
It doesn't make you uncomfortable, then that's not really a goal. So for example, If you've been working out for a long time and you really want to get stronger. So this is actually something I'm working on right now for myself. I would like to increase my back squat by, I think it's, I have to do the math real quick, 30 pounds.
I want to increase my one rep max by 30 pounds. And I have a very clear date on when I want to do this and I'm not going to lie. It makes me a little bit nervous because a 30 pound PR it's a pretty big jump, but on top of that, in order for me to get it. It means I'm going to have to do some stuff that I haven't done before.
I can't keep doing the same thing I've been doing and expecting to get a different result. Like that's just the definition of whoever said it. Albert Einstein of insanity. It means I am going to have to do some hard workouts. It means my body's going to be really sore because my muscles are being forced to tear and grow back stronger.
It means I'm going to have to get some accountability. I'm going to have to go do these things that just are really uncomfortable for me all while I'm doing it. There's also the fear that I could do all of this, and I might not ever hit my goal. Right. That's why it's a goal because it forces me to grow and expand physically and mentally, and really just test the limits of what I think is possible.
You can do the same thing too. If you have a goal with your income or with your business of like, you know what I did a hundred thousand last year, I want to do 200,000 this year. Okay. That means you're going to have to do some stuff you've never done.
You might have to get a coach. You might have to do some sales on your own. You might have to step outside of the box and do some different kinds of marketing that you've never done before, because you want to double your sales. It's not going to take necessarily double the work, but you are going to have to learn some new skills and some different things.
Oh, you want greater deeper relationships. Okay. Let's talk about that. What, what do you need to learn to do in order to get that? If that's your goal is deeper, greater relationships. That means you're going to have to learn the skill of vulnerability. You're going to have to learn the skill of opening up and trusting people.
That means you're going to have to be a reliable person and a trustworthy person that people can see as dependable and loyal in their life. That means you are going to have to prioritize people in your life and make that commitment. That means you're going to have to be uncomfortable and put yourself in a place that you could have a really deep relationship and you might get hurt.
And this goes to anything like, oh, you want to lose 20 pounds. You're probably going to have to stop eating sugar, stop eating fast food. That means it might change your social circle. Like this is what a goal is. It requires you to expand, to learn new skills, to do things you've never done, but isn't that what life is about, about growth.
Don't you want to discover what really is possible, what you really are capable of? You can't test your limits and grow to new heights if you're going to keep playing it safe and doing what you've been doing. And I always refer to this as playing small and playing big. You know, if you're playing big in your life, You know, if every single week you're like, God, I'm constantly uncomfortable because I'm trying all these new things and I don't know what I'm doing.
And that's, that's actually kind of, the funny thing is like people get very scared and fearful and myself included is when you're trying all these new things and you don't really have any previous skill set that can navigate you through this. You're in a vulnerable place and you got to figure it out and you got to learn and you got to practice and you got to step up.
But as you go through growth periods, you then end up on the other side after certain period of time and you can look back and be like, wow, that was a struggle. But look at how much stronger I am physically, mentally, emotionally in my relationships, in my career in who I am and what I'm doing. So this would be playing big.
This is what I consider expansion. The difference, people usually set these huge goals that are going to make a difference in their life. And what always happens when you set a new goal, it's accompanied by fear and vulnerability. And yeah, you're just scared. Sometimes the opportunity to grow is so big that the fear is also equally big and people choose instead of expanding into that and growing into that to contract.
And stay where they are. And like I said, at the beginning of this, there's nothing wrong with that. Your choices and your experiences are right for you. But if you are in a place where you're feeling stuck, and you're wondering why you're not making progress anywhere, this is probably what's going on is you've been doing the same thing over and over for so long, without any real movement in any direction.
And it's because you've been playing small and playing it safe. If you want something different, you're going to have to do something different and you're going to have to embrace the fear and everything that comes with it. But keep doing it anyways. And I actually, it was a couple of weeks ago. I posted some workout on Instagram.
I don't even remember what it was, but it included box jumps. And it's always interesting the messages and comments I get from workouts, because you would think it would be something around like fitness or diet or nutrition or something along those lines and it never is. The messages that I got was like, Hey, I really want to try this workout, but I have a question.
Thinking like, oh, the question is going to be, how do I modify this? And the question, I think three or four people, they were like, how does one get over the fear of box jumps? And it makes me laugh because it's the fear of anything, how I would like to be able to do box jumps, but how do I get over the fear of that?
I would like to start a business, but how do I get over the fear of not knowing where my income is going to come from? I would like to get over in a relationship, but how do I get over the fear of getting into a relationship and the answer for everything in life, how you get over the fear, you feel it, you embrace it and you keep moving forward and you do it anyway.
The fear does not go away. And I think that's what limits a lot of people from ever having. What they want in life is they think one day the fear is going to subside. I'm not going to be scared anymore. No, you're still going to be scared. And if you're not scared, you're going to hit that new level of plateau.
And then it's going to be time to set a new goal. And for you to grow to a new height again, that's the hard thing. And I mean, this is anything like, I used to be scared with my cleans, my clean and jerks. Like I remember when I got around like body weight, I was like, oh my God, I don't think I can do this.
I'm so scared. And the only thing that I was scared of was that I was good that I wouldn't do it, that I would fail the lift, which is, I mean, it's a legitimate fear, but like who cares? So I got to that point and then I stayed at that point and then it's like, oh wow. This used to be the weight that I feared and now I can do it.
Now I got to lift the weight a little bit heavier. If I want to grow and get stronger, I don't have to, nobody does you don't have to push yourself, but if you want to, what's going to happen. Fear shows up again. I'm like, Hey, aren't you a little bit scared about doing this? And then you're going to have to figure out, am I going to let the fear hold me back?
Or am I going to move forward? And this goes back to the question of, are you going to expand or are you going to contract. There is no wrong answer to this, but you can feel the difference. I just want to make sure you don't assume that expansion is ever going to not include fear in some way, because it always will.
I don't know about you, but in this life, I want to know what is really possible. And sometimes this bites me in the butt, but I love just testing limits. I like trying new things. I like finding out. What I'm truly capable of and really U2 you're capable of anything that you want. It's just a matter of, are you going to remove the limits that are created in your mind and in your heart and in your soul and allow yourself to really tap into your unlimited potential?
Or are you going to let those limits and fears keep you exactly where you are? And especially, I mean, I think about age in this too, like I'm in my thirties, I don't know how old you are listening to this. You're so young. I don't care if you're 60 or 70 or however old you are. If you have another year of life, that's another year that you can really test out what you thought was possible in this life and really test all of your beliefs.
And that is what life is all about when you're not learning, you're not growing. And if you're not growing, then what are you doing here? If you're just able to go through the motions in your life, just completely mindless. What are you doing? Don't you want to expand don't you really want to find out what you're capable of.
Don't you really want to see how strong you really are. Don't you really want to find out how deep relationships can really be, how much you can really accomplish, because if so, what's the worst thing that's going to happen if you try? You end up exactly where you are. So if you're listening to this and you're like, you know what I want to grow, I want to expand.
Here's exactly how you're going to do that. You're going to remove all the limitations you have in your mind, everything, every mental block, every emotional barrier that maybe you got burned or hurt, or disappointed, or let down, or maybe you thought you failed before, but just, let's just wad that piece of paper up and throw it out the window because it doesn't matter.
And it really doesn't serve you at all, whatever it is that holds you back. Now that you've gotten rid of it, get out of pen and paper, spend some time just thinking about all right. If anything in the world as possible, truly. Anything. You want to be the next Jeff Bezos, you go right ahead. You can do it because you know what?
20 years ago, Jeff Bezos wasn't anybody think about that. He was nobody. He just removed the limitations from his mind. You want to be Walt Disney, I believe you can do it. If you can remove your limitations and learn to embrace fear and vulnerability, then you absolutely can do it. It's not going to be easy, but I trust that if you believe it, then I believe it for you, whatever it is though, take out a pen and paper, really get deep with yourself.
Be like, all right, anything in the world as possible. My income, my relationships, my health and fitness, anything. With that in mind. What do I actually want to create in this life and write it out as if you are writing your own story and as much detail as possible. So in the eight week program, when I have people do this, there's a whole worksheet.
I have them go through, but basically I'm like, get as detailed as you can write out your ideal life or the greatest vision for your life. Thinking of everything. Where do you live? What does your house look like? How do you spend your time? Who do you spend your time with? What is your body like? What is your mind like?
Do you have pets? Like write it out? Like you're writing a very detailed story and as if you can have anything that you want, and then once you do that, you're going to work backwards. You're going to look at that piece of paper. You're going to look at that story. Look at your life. Are you going to say, all right, how do I work backwards from here?
And what can I take action to move in the direction of this? And I know I've talked about this before, but action. You always have to take action. You can't just think about things. You can't just write about things and then think that things are going to fall into your lap. I mean, they do to some extent, but even using the story of shark tank, people ask me all the time, like, oh my God, how did you get on shark tank?
I Googled it. And I filled out the application. I mean, yes, I thought about it. Yes. I visualized it. And I think a lot of people do that. And then, and then I'm like, oh, did you apply? Oh, no, but that's really a goal of mine. Okay. Well, what's the plan, man. Sometimes all you gotta do is pick up the phone. This is actually in a movie and I can't think of what movie it is, but it's something, is it, she's all that.
Or she's out of my league. I don't know what it is. Um, but in the movie, this guy is always trying to get this girl and he's always venting to his friend about how all the other guys get her. And she never gives him attention and whatever. And at some point in the movie, the guy's just like, well, what did she say when you told her how you feel?
Oh, it's Win a Date with Tad Hamilton!. That's what it is. Win a Date with Tad Hamilton. It's a great movie. It's super cheesy. But anyways, that's exactly what happens. And this woman asked this guy. She's like, well, what did she say when you told her how you feel? And he just kind of stares at her and he's like, um, well, I didn't exactly tell her how I feel and the woman's like, okay, well, what did she say when you like, let her know that you like her or that you're interested?
Um, yeah. I, I haven't really done that either. Okay. What did she say when you kissed her? So maybe there's like one thing I've tried and it's just like the whole point of she's like. Wait, you're mad because you don't have something, but you haven't even done anything to create that. Like, instead you're just, you're defeating yourself before you even get started.
And we do this in all areas. We do this with our careers. Underselling ourselves, assuming we're not qualified or we go for the careers that we don't really want because we think the other ones are outside our limits or just what's possible for us. We do this with our income when we do it with our friends, with where we can live and what we can do.
And that's always what it comes down to is you need somebody in your life. Like I said, whether it's a coach, an accountability partner, a spouse, whoever that's gonna be. Yeah, I think you can totally have it. So tell me, what have you done? Like what have you tried? Not even like, what's work. Just, what have you tried to make that happen?
And nine times out of 10 people haven't tried anything. It's like, you wouldn't be surprised at the amount of momentum and progress you would get in life. If you just tried, you want to lift a hundred pounds. How many times have you tried to lift a hundred pounds? Never. You're probably never going to succeed at that.
If you keep trying, though, I guarantee you one day, you're going to lift a hundred pounds. Like, just think about that. So now that I'm on my tangent going back, so you've got your story. You've got your very clear plan of what you want to do, work backwards and just ask yourself the basic things of what is something simple I can do to take action in creating this.
And then the third thing of course is find the accountability and support of people who, who not only going to keep you motivated and help you believe in yourself that you can do that, but that are going to help hold that energetic vision and space for you as you move in that direction. That's, what's really important.
I mean, I don't know you. I know you as like a listener that I truly am grateful for. And every single week, this is one of my favorite things to do in all of the areas of my business, because I love connecting with people in this way, but I do know that you were a human being existing in this life with a very powerful soul and a powerful mind.
And I hope after listening to this, you choose expansion instead of contraction, because that's more of what we all need in life. And I mean, the reality is you've got nothing to lose. Think about. Say you go for the gold metal, say you give it all you've got and you fail. You're going to be exactly where you are.
So you already know the outcome. If you fail in anything, like you really have nothing to lose, but you have everything to gain. And so I hope that fear and limitations and insecurities do not become the thing that dictates and controls your life. And instead. The thing that moves you forward so that you can be somebody who hits their goals is the idea of wondering what you're fully capable of and what is really possible for you.
And I believe anything is possible, whether that's me being stupid and naive or not, it doesn't matter. It's a more pleasant way to live life. And that is how I do my work. That is how I take action every day. And that's exactly how I hope that you take action every single day. Thank you for listening to this.
I hope that you feel incredibly motivated. As I always say, do not just listen to this and do nothing. Listen to this, and then go put everything that I've said into action and see how it really changes and impacts your life in a really beautiful, positive way. If you could do me a huge favor, if you haven't already, would you please leave me a review and just let me know what you like about this podcast so that I can continue to deliver you content every single week.
In the hopes of keeping you inspired, empowered, and motivated to create a life and body that you want. And like I said, at the beginning, if you want to work with me, head on over to AshleyDrummonds.Com and you will see all the details on how you can work with me as your coach. All right. Have a fantastic day.
And until next week, I'll see you in the next episode!
Here's to Creating a Body & Life You Love,
Want to really build a strong, fit & lean body while reprogramming your mindset to transform your life working directly with me as your Fitness & Mindset Coach?
Schedule A Breakthrough Strategy Call!
Join my Community and Receive Motivational Emails to help keep you inspired and motivated to create a body and life you love!
Don't worry, your information will not be shared.
We hate SPAM. We will never sell your information, for any reason.