Who Do You Strive to Be and What Action Are You Taking To Be That Person?

motivation Aug 22, 2021

So for today, I'm super excited. Our topic is all about how it's all great and fantastic, and very inspirational that you talk about who you want to be. But what I want to talk about is what are you actually doing to reflect and become the person that you say you want to be.

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Hello, you guys welcome to the Phoenix Rising podcast! I am Ashley Drummonds and I am so happy that you are here and I get to come into your day this week. So thank you for joining me. As usual, if you are interested in working with me as your fitness and mindset coach, to help you take your workouts and your mindset, to the next level, head on over to AshleyDrummonds.Com. You will see all the different places that you can put your name and email in. And I will send you some information and details on how you can work with me as your coach. Again, that's AshleyDrummonds.Com. The website will be in the description below this podcast.

So for today, I'm super excited. Our topic is all about who you want to become, the kind of person that you aspire to be and what are you actually doing to be that person?

So it's all great and fantastic, and very inspirational that you talk about who you want to be. But what I want to talk about is what are you actually doing? To reflect and become the person that you say you want to be. So grab your favorite beverage or protein shake, protein pancakes. Pre-workout, post-workout, whatever coffee, tea, it's up to you.

And let's get deep.

Hello. It is a full moon kind of day today. So recording this on Saturday the 21st. Tonight, we go into a full moon that will peak Sunday morning around 8:00 AM. You're going to listen to this next week after the full moon has happened, but I'm telling you this because one, you guys always say that you love learning about this stuff, but two, just in case you had any weird things happen Friday, Saturday, or Sunday.

Here's a little bit of the reason why. So full moons affect everybody differently. And I know I've mentioned this before, but just like, look, if the moons can change the tide of the entire ocean and your body is made up of 70% water, you're going to feel the effects. And everybody experiences it differently, especially depending on the season and where you're at in life.

This one in particular, though, is all about revelations, listening to your inner voice and connecting deeper to your authentic self. So we all have different sides to ourself, and this is more astrology than anything, but. Regardless of astrology. It's the truth. We have the parts of ourself that we show in the world.

And then the parts that we kind of keep hidden and private to ourselves. So this full moon is about integrating the two so that you're showing up wholly and authentically instead of as two separate parts of yourself. So maybe this weekend, you had a revelation and you were like, I'm tired of pretending this, or I'm tired of doing things that don't fulfill me or I'm tired of whatever it might be.

And I want to just be who I am. You can thank the full moon for that. So that's going on this weekend, is also super cool because I went down to the water every single day. I'm very grateful that I live in a beautiful area, that I have the opportunity to walk down to. Basically, I mean, they're like miniature beaches, but waterfront.

And last night I was doing that and I saw sharks and stingrays and manatees and dolphins. And my animal lover side is just loving life and so happy about it. But it's also interesting because when there is a full moon going on, animals tend to be more active. And I guess apparent, if that's the word, not appear, visible, that's the word visible.

So anyways, in relation to this full moon, it just worked out perfectly on the topic of who do you want to become or what kind of person do you aspire to be and what are you doing to become that? And part of the reason I brought this up is because over the last few weeks, I've had tons of calls with clients, with potential clients.

And I've talked to just like people in everyday life. Perhaps, this is my own revelation of, I'm just seeing more and more like the truth behind things, but there's been this recurring theme and I've just like really taken the stance of the observer and a lot of these situations. And there was this person who I have known for a very long time.

And they're talking about like, you know, just taking responsibility for their life and being like super ambitious and motivated. And they're the kind of person that does this, this and this. And they were speaking about it in terms of almost critically of other people who do not take responsibility. And I've been practicing more just like listening and watching people instead of really like getting caught up in the emotional aspects of it.

And I kind of like walked away from that conversation. And I was like, you know, what's really interesting is this, person's been saying this for a really long time. And nothing has changed. Like I brought this up though, because then I got on some calls with some coaching clients and some of the clients I've had for years.

Some of them are new, but I'm very much the person that if there is something that you are unhappy with or something that you're not satisfied with in your life, I want to give you the attention and the support and do everything I can to help you change that and get the things that you do want in life.

That's the way that's just the way that I work. So having that in mind, I've had some repetitive themes with different people and I'm speaking mostly just like very generic where it's so funny when you listen to people talk and they're like, man, you know, I just, I really hate my job. I really hate this relationship.

I really hate how much money I make. I really hate the way my body looks. I really hate where I live and they're talking about it and talking about it. And like in the beginning, there's a sense of empathy and compassion in regards to it. But then. You hear them later talk about like how they're just like, there's such a solid, motivated, focused person and they're goal driven and all these things.

And I'm like listening, like, uh huh? Yeah. That would actually be correct information if you took as much of a survey of your life as I am right now, because I think you like the idea and you like the way it makes you sound to be that person. But if you didn't tell me anything and I just watched the story or the movie of your life, you haven't done anything to create any of the stuff that you want.

And so like with clients, it's kind of funny because I'll listen and we talk about things and then I preface it with like, look, you work with me as your coach. Why, well, because I want help. I want to grow. I want to move out of this. I'm like, okay. So what I'm about to say. Is not coming from a place of being insensitive.

It is coming from a place because you sound like you are unhappy or unfulfilled in your situation, and I want to help you. And it is my job to help you become satisfied, do everything you want to do to move out of the situation that you're in to move into the one that you want and really help you create that.

So what I have to say is you cannot become the person that you want to be and actively create the life that you want while, continuing to complain about your situation, because here's what happens to a lot of people. A lot of people can tell you very quickly who they want to be or who they think they are.

They can tell you all about their goals. They can tell you all about values and traits and characteristics that they have, that they pride themselves in. And anything else you can think of? What a lot of people can't do is back that up with any evidence in your life. That that is true. That's the crazy thing.

And like, this is something and I'm, I am a student of myself, a student of life and a student of people. So I love watching people and understanding people and what most people do is they talk about like, okay, so I understand how mindset and law of attraction and positive thinking and all that works that you have to talk about the things that you want.

You have to get clear on the things that you want. And it's like, yes, that is very correct. However, what most people do is they talk about the things that they want. 30 minutes later, they're complaining about what they don't want. 30 minutes later, they're back to their old reality. They're not consistent.

And this is what's hard and what really is challenging, but important when it comes to mindset in anything that you want in life, any goal in life, you got to make a choice of what you are moving towards and in making that choice, you are letting go of everything that is not that. And this is like such mental discipline.

Catch yourself. If you want to move in that direction, focus and discipline your mind to only talk about, think about and act about who you want to become and stop talking about what pisses you off or frustrates you or makes you unhappy. Because you're creating your own conflict and contradiction perfect example of this.

There are plenty of people, especially being in the fitness industry for the last 10 years that I have watched two groups. I have watched the groups that they make a decision and they totally crush it. They're losing weight consistently getting in shape. They're totally just taking their whole lives to the next level.

Why because they may have super concrete decision that that's who they wanted to be and that's who they were going to become. And that is all they talked about. That's all they focused on. That is where every ounce of their energy went to. So then there's the other group, there's the group that talks about who they want to become, but it's more connected to their talking about it because they think that's who they should be or who they should aspire to be, but they don't actually have any real commitment to it.

And you can tell the difference. Because if you are deeply committed to the things that you want in life, you are going to feel less inclined to talk to everybody about it. And that's the truth. I mean, if you're super committed to taking care of your health and fitness, to getting in your workouts, to making healthy choices, You're probably not walking around, telling everybody in the world, all the knowledge you have around fitness, what to do, what not to do.

It's like the people that talk a lot about how much money they have probably don't have any money. It's the same thing with anything that you strive to be in life and what I'm finding. And the reason I wanted to do this is because I think the disconnect is because one, most people don't know genuinely who they actually want to be, not who they think they should be, or the kind of person they think is a good person, but the person that they actually want to be. So they create these phrases. They walk around talking about it because they think this is the kind of person that if I talk about this will command respect.

This is the kind of person that I think society looks highly upon. So let me talk about how I'm focused and disciplined and motivated. And I hold myself to all these standards and the problem is you aren't acting like that person. You aren't living your life like that person. So then you have to ask yourself, why am I saying I'm all these things, but if I take a hard, honest look at my life, I don't actually reflect any of those things.

If you're somebody who talks about how you take responsibility for your life, why are you still complaining about things that aren't working out for you? If you take responsibility, there's nothing to complain about. You make a choice to change it, and then you take action and you focus your mind and your energy in creating what you do want.

But if you're unhappy and you continue to talk about how unhappy you are and you complain about your situation, but you don't do anything to actually change it. Well, you're not somebody that takes responsibility for their life and that's okay. But if you're finding yourself frustrated and stuck, that's probably why, because you do not have the alignment of who you say you want to be, but what your actions are showing you actually are.

So in order to get to that point, like I've had people before clients who are just like, what if I have no idea who I am? Or who I want to be. Well, then you're in a process of self discovery and that is okay. What you can do is think of people that you admire or consider a role model, think of all the traits and the qualities that they carry, that you really like.

And if you would like to become like that kind of person, then you got to do the stuff that those people do. Again, using fitness as an analogy, you admire people who have a certain physique. You admire people who seem healthy and strong and really confident with how they look, you admire all these things, but yet you go to them and ask them like, Hey, I really like, I really like your build.

I like the way you look, what do you do? And they tell you like, well, I strength train five days a week. I stay away from sugar and processed carbs. I don't really drink that much. I get my sleep and I drink a ton of water. And then you walk out of that conversation and you don't do any of it. But you're still walking around, talking about how you pride yourself in being somebody who takes care of their health and fitness.

Like, it doesn't make any sense. And while I'm saying this, it might sound really simple, but I guarantee you, there are areas in your life that you do this. And I, I mean, I do the same thing. You gotta be like your greatest fan, but also your biggest constructive critic, and be honest with yourself about where you're really just not holding yourself to the standard that you should. And I think that that's really what it comes down to is are you holding yourself to those standards? And if not, why? If you have certain goals and things that you value, do whatever it's going to take to hit those things. But if not, maybe you're not the person that you thought you were, and it doesn't mean that you're wrong.

It just means, oh, Well, maybe I don't really value that all that much. And now going back to the full moon, I have to figure out who and what my most authentic self looks like so that I can embrace that instead of becoming the person that everybody else wants me to become, because the only way you're ever truly going to be fulfilled and happy in life is when you discover who your authentic self is.

And then you decide who you want to become and you live every single day based on that. But I feel like most of the people in the world, not everybody, most of the people, they embody who they think they should be instead of who they actually want to be. And a lot of it's based on conditioning and society, they see people who are adored and recognized and acknowledged.

So they look at what those people do. And then, oh, like that person does this. So therefore this is who I need to become, but it's not really authentic to them. Or they see people who are put down or criticized in society. So then they don't do that, but maybe there's a part of them that kind of wants to do that.

Like there's so many conflicting things going on, but the only way you're ever really going to know who you want to be and who you actually are, and see if the two are married together is by spending time with yourself and checking in with yourself when it comes to actually creating that you have to ask yourself every single day.

All right. Here's who I want to be. And there's a, I can't think of it right now, manifesto. So you could write like a manifesto for yourself, man, or woman. This is the kind of woman that I think is just freaking amazing. Like she's strong, she's independent, she's honest. She's sincere. She's genuine. She's kind, she's thoughtful.

She's healthy. She's beautiful. Like anything you can think of, or, or a man, like this guy is competent, he's assertive, he's leader. He can make decisions. He knows what he wants. He knows the direction he's headed in his life. He stands up for people that need to be stood up for, he's thoughtful. Like whatever comes to mind, write your manifesto.

Think of all the things of this person that like you just admire and adore and respect. And then be honest and look at your life and hold yourself up to the mirror, shine some light on that, letting it be okay if you're falling short, but then be honest on the things that you need to change to be that person.

And that's the hard thing. I mean, even like I've done this for myself before over the years and I continue to do it. If there's certain areas and I'm like right now, the kind of woman that I want to be and show up as in this world, There's areas that I've had to work through. I've had to work through insecurities.

I've had to work through fears. I've had to overcome a lot of my limitations and the way you get through this is you actually start to just think of, if I were this person, what would I do in this situation? If I were this person, how would I act with this? If I were this person, what would I decide? And it's taking the approach instead of just talking about who you strive to be.

Put yourself in the shoes of already being that person and then make decisions based on that. So it's really embodying who this is that you want to become so much so to the point that you're not making decisions, you're not going around acting like somebody you're not. You're already embodying who that person is that you want to become.

And then it's so much easier to make decisions. To show up to decide if you're going to the gym, decide who you're going to hang out with what you're going to pursue from that place. But most people do it backwards. They do it from a place of lack of like, all right, here's where I am now, what decision do I need to make now from this place?

And it's like, that's not really how it's going to work. And I've mentioned Neville before, but Neville has a great, great way of putting this of it's very simple. Just the person that you've been or the reality that you've been living in, turn your attention away from that and put all of your attention onto who you want to become.

It's really that simple. And I know it's not that simple, even though I'm saying it is, but it's really, really having the mental discipline to do that. So in very literal terms, the way that you do this is you have to be very aware of your thoughts, your actions, your patterns, and your behavior is so much so to the point that, when you catch yourself complaining or talking about a situation that you don't want or venting about the same situation you've been venting about when you hear yourself doing this, just mentally, hold up a stop sign and be like, wait a minute. Am I turning my attention to what I want or to what I don't want?

Because wherever I put my intention, That's the direction that I'm headed and then you stop yourself and like, all right, how can I flip this to talk about what I do want? You know what I'm going to join a gym, I'm gonna get a coach. I'm going to the gym to start out at least three days a week. I'm going to get an accountability partner.

I'm doing this because I'm tired of talking about how unhappy I am with my body. And I'm going to actually do something about it and become that person. Tired of my job. Tired of being underpaid. Instead of continuing to talk about how underpaid and tired I am with my job. I'm going to take all that mental energy.

I'm going to turn it away from what I don't want. And I'm going to just hyper-focus myself and discipline my mind to become the person I want to be, who is well paid, highly valued at their job and doing work that they love. I don't want my relationship anymore. My spouse sucks. My boyfriend sucks. My girlfriend sucks.

These are all the things that they aren't. Turn all of your attention away from that and focus all on everything that you do want with your partner. Like it takes so much discipline. And here's the thing about it is like this is actually proven on again, a scientific level, your brain gets addicted to thought patterns.

So in the beginning, it's very hard. You get addicted to complaining, you get addicted to the victim role, you get addicted to not taking responsibility. So when you first start doing this. It's really hard. Cause you're like crap. If I don't talk about all the things that like, I don't want, actually don't know what to talk about right now.

And I'm kind of like just sitting here quietly and it's better if you sit there quietly and stay the observer and practice awareness, then to continue to repeat the same conversation. And I can tell you right now, your friends, your family, your coworkers, they are probably tired of you talking about the same situation.

And I, I get to this point all the time, actually about three conversations, I think is my max before. I'm like, all right, I'm tired of hearing myself talk about that. Like, this is stupid. I don't even want to talk about this situation, whether I'm happy or not just because I don't want to put my energy to it anymore.

So here's what I want to do. And then like, I will get to the point of like, what do I need to do to get in the direction of what I do want? And I asked friends this, what do we need to do to get you out of this and move in the direction of what you do want do it for yourself though. Like if you're not tired of your own story, well, I can guarantee you, the people in your life probably are.

And I'm not saying that meanly, it's just the honest truth. So why not use up all that to create what you do want? And a lot of times people have huge amounts of fear that they have to overcome. Fear of what if I do that? What if I turn away all my attention away from who I don't want to be, and I totally embrace everything that I do want and who I do want to be, what's going to happen?

And while it sounds a little silly of like, why would you be afraid of getting what you want? I'll tell you exactly why you're afraid of getting what you want. It's because change is involved. Change is uncomfortable. Change is hard. If you don't like your job. You want to be better paid and better valued.

You're probably going to have to go through some discomfort of either having really uncomfortable conversations with your boss and tell them that, or the discomfort of you might have to resign and quit and then have the fear that you have to overcome of now, how do I find what I actually do want? Same thing with fitness, weight loss.

There's fear. Fear that it might not work fear that you might lose some friends who aren't really on board with the whole health and fitness thing, fear that you may never achieve what you want to achieve. There is fear that you have to overcome, but fear actually comes from a place of not having confidence in yourself and your ability to make hard decisions.

You have the ability to make hard decisions. And the only way to overcome fear is through action. To make the decision and then take action immediately. A lot of times people make a decision and then they sit there and they question like, I don't know, should I have done that? I don't know if I should have done that.

No, you make the decision and then you act right away. So if you decide, you know what, screw it, I'm over feeling bad about my body. I don't want to do this anymore. It hasn't served me. I don't feel good. I'm really insecure in social situations. And I am tired of feeling that way. You make that decision and then you immediately go to the gym, find a coach.

That's going to hold you to that or find a trainer or work with me or whoever. You don't make the decision. And then sit there and do nothing. And that's where a lot of people get screwed up in everything. They make the decision, but there's no action that follows it. So then what happens when we don't take action, fear sets in, and now we start to question our ability to make the right decision.

I actually told somebody this recently, in regards to just something really basic, and I'll be totally honest. I don't remember the entire context of this conversation. Basically. What I said is you need to remember you have made hard decisions before you can make hard decisions again, and find the confidence to do this in little things.

And eventually when you start to make decisions in little things over and over and over, you're going to build that muscle, that confidence muscle in your ability to make bigger decisions that have greater impacts on your life. And you can practice this with little things. So where do you wanna go? I don't care.

Where do you want to go? No, no, no, no. Where do you want to go to eat? I'll take the restaurant up the street. Let's go there at five. Be somebody who is a leader in life and can make hard decisions. That is the only way you are going to get anywhere. The other thing you can practice too, is make a decision and immediately take action and see if you don't even have time for fear to set in.

There's no time. I made an Instagram post a few weeks ago of a workout. And I, I think I mentioned this and if I did, I don't know who I say what to, so it's very possible that I repeat myself, but I made an Instagram post doing a workout with the box jumps. And the girl was asking me about like, well, how do you get over the fear of box jumps?

And I said, it's the same way you get over the fear of anything you act, stop thinking and start doing. Trust yourself. Trust your ability, trust your path, align with who you want to be and what you want in life and act on it every single day. Now, when it comes to taking action, sometimes it's really hard in the beginning because you might not know exactly what to do to get you from point A to point B, say you're a little bit lost.

You're like, okay, I do want to take care of my fitness. Man, I wanna make a decision and take action right now. I don't know how to take action for that though. You start asking questions and you start taking any action you possibly can as quickly as possible before doubt and fear sets in because that's what's going to happen is when you just sit around and think about it too much, you start to question everything.

So you take action. So you want to be healthy and fit. You made that decision. What's the first action you can take, go to the gym and ask somebody, ask the person at the front desk, hire a personal trainer, ask somebody in the gym who looks healthy and fit and has a similar body type that you want be like, Hey, what do I got to do?

That's what I'm doing right now. Sign up, make a commitment. And here's the thing too. I actually, I'm not going to talk about that. Here's the thing too, is any time you invest something yourself into your decision? You are 10 times more likely to follow through with this. And I know this true to be myself too, when I've worked with business coaches, when I've worked with fitness coaches, when I've had my own money on the line, I am way more committed to following through with it and making it happen.

So if you're not really great at motivating and disciplining and holding yourself accountable, you need to put some money or something on the line. That is going to make it worth your time to keep showing up. And there's so many people, especially in the fitness world that are like, well, I just want to do it for free.

I don't have any money. If you have nothing to lose, what's going to keep you from just quitting. And I keep using fitness as an analogy because it's my whole background and experience, but the same is true in anything in jobs, in your business, in relationships. If you got nothing to lose, Well, you're probably not going to be really motivated for everything that you have to gain.

There's a whole concept of like, so stress is good. First off, certain amounts of stress are good, too much stress obviously is not healthy and it's bad, but certain amounts of stress are good because it puts you under pressure. So it's kind of like, it forces you to figure things out and you don't have a choice.

So you're back squatting. Your body is under stress. You're lifting a heavy weight. That stress is good because the second you squat down, now you're under pressure. You got no choice. You got to stand up, you're holding something overhead. Same thing. Like this is a great thing. This is why I love fitness so much because there's so many things that can relate to your life.

Same is true though, with everything else. If you have nothing to lose by making your decision. You also are not going to be super motivated in what you can gain. So you can ask yourself, who do you want to become? What do you need to do to become that person? What do you risk losing if you don't become that person?

Sometimes it's an emotional risk. Sometimes it's a risk of. I don't know, actually confidence would be the same thing as an emotional risk. But for example, if you have a fantastic idea that just in your heart and soul feels like this is my dream, this is the business that I want to create. This is what I feel called to do.

It's going to probably require you to either take out a business loan, maybe get a business coach, do a lot of stuff that you have no idea how to do. Right. Super scary. But if you don't do that, what do you risk losing, living a life that's less than what you really want having a job that you don't actually enjoy.

Always wondering what could have happened if you would've just gone for it and tried. Then you put money on the line, say you make that decision. And you're like, all right, I'm doing this. You put money on the line. So you pay five to $10,000 with a business coach. Now you have something really to lose. If you don't follow through with this, there's gotta be something though.

Otherwise there's no pressure to make the decision to follow through another analogy related to work and a job. What are you risking by not going for a job that is more well paid, where you feel like you can use your skills and your talents more and where you feel like you are valued more? What does that risk?

Well, you have some financial risk because you're not making as much money as you need to, or as you should, you have some emotional and mental risk because now your confidence is shot. And you don't really feel valued, which is going to turn into other areas of your life that you don't feel valued. So what do you have to do?

You have to choose who you want to be. You make a decision, you have really uncomfortable conversations. You either walk into the office, you let your employer know how you feel, and you're either going to get fired or you're going to resign one way or the other. There is discomfort. And that my friend, I think is the biggest illusion people have is we assume that if we were doing things right, or if we were making the right decisions.

And actually I was reflecting on this for my own life, with a friend from a very long time ago that our friendship just kind of dissolved and I felt so much pain around the loss of this friendship that. I questioned everything that I was as a friend, everything I was as woman, I felt totally off track.

What did I do wrong? How am I failing my friendships, all these things. And what I came to realize is I assumed that making the right decision wouldn't involve pain and we associate pain. With being wrong. And sometimes in order to become who you want to become, you're going to feel pain and discomfort, but that does not mean that you're wrong.

It just is part of the experience one way or the other, you're going to feel discomfort if you stay and you're going to feel discomfort if you leave the question is which one has the greater reward. And one of my clients, I actually had mentioned this to her, just because of an experience of like, I don't feel like I'm, my experience is right.

Like, I feel like I'm doing this wrong and I made it very clear to her. I said, listen, just because you're having a hard time and you are experiencing pain does not mean you are wrong, but God like our society, we are taught. If you're right. You will never have a bad day. You won't feel pain, sadness won't exist.

You'll just always be happy and live in the high life. And that couldn't be further from the truth and more confusing than ever. So on the path of who you want to become, understand and accept the fact that no matter what, whether it's pain or fear or insecurities or losing friendships or losing jobs, losing a sense of identity, whatever it is.

It's going to happen, whether you choose to become that person or whether you stay exactly where you are, but you have to be strong enough that once you make that decision and you have a crystal clear picture of, you know what, this is who I want to be. I am making the decision right now and I'm immediately taking action to put that into effect.

You then have to give every ounce of that mental, emotional energy to move in that direction. It means if that's who you really want to be, hold yourself to that standard and hold yourself accountable. When your thoughts and your mind start to go backwards to the situations that you don't want.

Discipline yourself, give yourself a little slap on the wrist and be like, Nope, not going back there. We're not going to be that person anymore. We're changing. We're moving forward in the beginning, you might have a lot of slaps on the wrist. Over time this will become the new you, this will become your new mindset.

It no longer will be hard because now you totally are embodying everything that you want to be and who you want to become. So just a quick recap. This goes back to anything you want in life. And I know sometimes these things can be repetitive, but repetition is the key to change. Consistency is the key to change.

The more you hear it, the more it's going to start to soak into your brain and your mind, the more you're going to start to embody it. And the more you're going to believe it. So to recap, I don't care if you have crystal clear goals. I don't care if you talk about who you are to everybody. All I care about is if your mouth was shut and you couldn't talk to anybody about anything, do your actions prove the kind of person that you think that you are. Look at your life.

Give it a super hard microscopic look. And if not, stop talking and start doing, start making the changes to be that person. That's what matters. There are so many people. Let everybody has a friend like this. So I'm just going to say it. How many times has a friend messaged you and be like, oh my God, I miss you so much.

Like we haven't seen each other in forever. They say this right. How many times do they say that? But then how many times do they actually act on that? By putting forth effort, to make plans and see you? Then who cares how much they say they miss you. They're not doing anything to be your friend. So let them go and make room for the people who are there showing up, taking action.

How many times does somebody want to be fit? They talk about being fit, then watch and see how many times they actually go to the gym and exercise. I mean, it's pretty simple. If you just watch people, you can figure out who is who they say they are based on their actions, not by their talks. So for you, for yourself, hold yourself to that standard, who you pride yourself to be, and then challenge yourself.

I don't care if it's a week or it's a month, or it's the rest of your life. To stop talking about it and start doing, stop thinking about it and start doing, stop sitting around over, analyzing everything and just go do it. Like that is my biggest pet peeve. So if I was sitting right there with you, you're talking about your situation and you're telling me all the problems what's going on.

You're conflicted. Imagine that I'm asking you like, okay, I hear what you don't want. What do you want?

What needs to happen to get you there? Okay. Are you committed? Are you committed to doing everything that needs to be done? No matter how hard it is to become that and to do that, if not, well, it sounds like you just want somebody to listen and hear you complain, and I'm not your person for that.

Unfortunately, not because I don't care because I do care. I want to help you move out. And have that exact same conversation with yourself in every single area that you were dissatisfied, job, money, relationships, work, your body, your friends, your family, any area of your life. You're dissatisfied. Do that for yourself.

And I promise you one, everything around you is going to shift. It has to inevitably, because you have shifted. But two, you are taking back your power instead of constantly giving it away to everything outside of yourself. Your other practice you have to do every single day is spend time, whether it's a traditional visualization or meditation practice, or it's just with a pen and paper, writing it out and picturing it in your mind.

Spend time in that daydreaming visualizing it. Really just flooding your subconscious with everything of who you want to be, and then embody that. That's really what you gotta do in order to become whoever it is you want to be is hold yourself to the same standard that somebody you admire would hold you to be confident in your ability to create what you want.

Be confident that you can become the person that you want to be. Be confident in your ability to make decisions so that you can change things and move in that direction. Accept it's going to be hard. Accept that you're going to have to do things you've never done. Accept the discomfort and get comfortable with the discomfort and then move in that direction.

Set goals for yourself that really stretch you and push you. Because I actually said this to somebody recently. It's not actually about the goal. It's not actually about the end result or the external situation. It's about who you have to become in the process of all of that, that you're going to be so proud of.

That's what it's about.

All right. That was a lot. That was a lot, but you know what? I feel like it needed to be said because so many people, man, It was just talk and talk and talk about what they want, which is one very small fraction of the puzzle, but they never actually do anything about it. So don't be that person be the person who not only talks about what they want.

They actually do the things that need to be done to create what they want and they become the kind of person that follows through and does those things, so, all right. Thank you so much for listening. You want to work with me as your coach had AshleyDrummonds.Com and I would be more than happy to help you create the life that you want.

If you have not already subscribed, please be sure to go ahead and do so. As I produce these episodes every single week to help keep you inspired, motivated, and empowered, giving you tools and tips to help train your brain and your mindset to create the life in the body you want. And until next time, see in the next episode.

Here's to Creating a Body & Life You Love,

Ashley Drummonds

Want to really build a strong, fit & lean body while reprogramming your mindset to transform your life working directly with me as your Fitness & Mindset Coach?

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