Do We Know What Real Beauty Looks Like Anymore?

I recently was browsing through Instagram looking for inspirational quotes and any valuable content and I came across an Instagram page that had a video of makeup tips for women with over 5 million followers. As I started browsing the different video tips (since I do love makeup), I immediately felt a sadness come up in me as I watched these video tutorials. The first video I saw showed the before frame of a strawberry blonde girl with fair skin, freckles, and beautiful blue eyes and the next segment of the video showed exactly how to change all of that with about 15 different products of concealer to cover the freckles, lash extensions to make her eye lashes longer-thicker and black instead of blonde, some lip product to make her lips look fuller, a contouring brush and color to make her cheeks look more defined and a bunch of items that I didn’t even recognize. By the time the video was done you couldn’t even recognize her as the same girl at the beginning of the video and part of me was angry that this is what women are being taught is Beauty=cover up all of the things that make you…YOU so you look like societies idea of “perfection” and be sure to use 20 different products because the natural beauty you have isn’t ok.

I am sure you have seen the Dove Beauty campaigns and the other social media images that show you the difference between a “real” woman and what she looks like after tons of makeup and photo shop, but just in case here is an image from one of the beauty campaigns to give you an idea:

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We all know the girl on the left. She is our friend, our sister, daughter, neighbor, co-worker, etc.

Do any of us know the girl on the right? Of course we do, she is the girl we see in every magazine who embodies the “perfect” female who has the perfect figure, perfect lips, eyes, flawless skin, and every man flocks to and we exhaust ourselves trying to look like.

As I continued to browse through this Instagram page, the more frustrated I became wanting to instantly message every single one of these girls and yell at them “You don’t need any of that! YOU are beautiful exactly as you are!”, but then I realized: It isn’t society that is screwing up what true beauty is…we are doing it to ourselves.

It gets so easy to blame the magazines, the media, and the men for encouraging these unrealistic standards of beauty, but the truth comes down to this: every day we have the power as women to choose what we support and how we define ourselves with the thoughts we feed ourselves every day, the respect we give ourselves and the way we allow others to treat us.

When was the last time you went about your day with no makeup wearing it with confidence embracing the natural side of yourself? What about the last time you let your hair air dry and let it be it’s natural crazy curly or straight self?

Don’t get me wrong, I am not saying there is anything wrong with makeup and doing things that make you feel beautiful. Shoot, I love makeup and playing with it but more as a way to enhance my natural features…not cover them up. It’s not wonders we sometimes feel so lost in who we are and our worth…because we have placed it in the hands of others.

I absolutely love the movement with female celebrities that have been popping up all over social media showing themselves and their most Natural…Authentic state. I believe we all should embrace this Authentic Beauty more and more every day because the more we embrace and own this, the more others and the rest of the world will do the same. You see, just like everything else in life, the world is simply a mirror reflecting back to us the truth that is going on inside of us.

When you step up and own your worth and your natural beauty, you will see that the people around you will begin to do the same and who knows you may even empower them to own their own natural beauty and worth by your own actions.

Here are 3 Ways You Can Start Feeling More Comfortable In Your Own Skin & Your Authentic Beauty:

  1. It all starts with your thoughts. Write down 3-5 statements you wish people said about you or you would like to hear from others. Now, take those statements and go in the bathroom or bedroom (somewhere where you can be alone), look in the mirror and tell those statements to yourself with sincerity and repeat is as many times you have to until you believe it! It may feel funny at first, but the words we say have so much power in our lives and who we are and if we want to start hearing a different story or having a different reality we have to start with what the person who follows us around all day every day and make sure we are treating ourselves with the love and respect we deserve.
  2. Take Inventory of the People You Surround Yourself With. Do you constantly hang out with women who are complaining and pointing out everything they hate about their bodies and how much money they would spend on botox, plastic surgery and implants if they had it? Do you hang around women who are always pointing out their insecurities and basically verbally abusing themselves? It’s time to make some changes then! Whether we like it or not, we start to pick up on the energies and habits of those around us and if you want to take immediate action to positive change the second place to look is at who you spend the most time with.
  3. Change the story about your “flaws”. We all have “insecure” areas that we think need to be fixed or changed, but that is only because of the story we tell ourselves about these flaws so instead of talking about why you hate these flaws…think about the story behind these areas that makes them unique and makes you love them. For example, is your stomach covered in stretch marks that you can’t get rid of?…Is the story behind why you have those stretch marks though because you brought a beautiful child into the world that has brought so much love and happiness to your life so you can see those stretch marks as a beautiful reminder of your journey and amazing body? Maybe you have wrinkles around your eyes that remind you of your age….instead, why not look at those beautiful lines and let it remind you of all the amazing laughs you had to create those lines and be grateful for those memories. Maybe you have a scar that you are embarrassed about and want to fade or get covered, but does that scar have a story that you can appreciate and embrace even more to be a reminder of your journey? You get the point.I made this picture post not too long ago on Instagram while in LA (of all places to embrace being natural!) with no makeup and air dry hair after hearing struggles of women who can’t see their own beauty in the hopes to empower them (and you) that you truly are beautiful exactly as you are. I have wrinkles, I have cellulite, I have scars, I have my own unique things on my body but the truth is there is a story that goes with each part of me as with you and it is Absolutely beautiful!

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The more we love ourselves exactly as we are the more the rest of the world will follow our lead.

My question to you is where are you withholding love and acceptance for yourself? Is it possible for you to let go of the self judging and allow yourself to be accepted as you are right now?

The more we love ourselves exactly as we are the more the rest of the world will follow our lead.
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Love is a catalyst for any type of change. When I work with my coaching clients who are women who want to lose weight, get in shape, and “feel better”, there is always some form of self-hate or denial that has brought them to this place that they no longer love their bodies or what they see in the mirror. Once I start coaching and teaching them this concept of self-love, the guilt with food, the hate every time you look in the mirror, starts disappear and the opportunity to make positive lasting change shows up.

When you give yourself love, you make choices that support that such as giving your body relationships that reflect love, foods that are healthy and fuel your body, exercise that lets your body move, etc. When you make choices out of hate, you starve your body, exhaust your body, get in abusive relationships, and attract situations that reflect that.

So I leave you with this question again, Is it possible for you to allow yourself to be accepted as your are right now and embrace your Authentic Beauty?

XOXO

Ashley Drummonds

 



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